Earth has a population of over 7 billion, and I had to meet the biggest loser imaginable. I fart in your general direction. Maybe if you ate some of that makeup you could be pretty on the inside. 5. Someday you'll go far. If I wanted to talk to you, I would have called you first. Someone was trashing on a user here on Reddit while using awful punctuation. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home? I thought you already knew you were a sociopath. 2. And, of course, roasts are a great way to put a pin in any conversation you don't feel like carrying on any further. You're so fake, Barbie might actually be jealous. Maybe we can invite them over and, together, youd constitute one working brain cell. Good job. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. Instead of listening to your opinion, how about I put on some cartoons for you, and get you a juice box? 82. Oh, you're talking to me? Looks like you fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. No? Id like to kick you in the teeth, but that would be an improvement! 85. The person might have called you mean based on what he or she sees or hears at that moment. That can be a good thing. When I listen to you, I think you really are going to go far. You could bedumbass partners in crime? Everybody knows that you're stupid thought you could fall in love because you saw a fake cupid. "Are you gonna cry if I don't?" and "What are you? Meanwhile, the person would naturally know that you are not asking this because you did not get it the first time. If I were a dog and you were a flower, I'd lift my leg up and give you a shower. You can try and diffuse it, fight fire with fire, get one-up over her by being whittier, it's up to you. Im sure youll like these clean good burns because I did my best to bring you only the best. I dont mind you talking so much, as long as you dont mind me not listening. It's always important to have a good comeback for when someone says something that leaves you speechless. You must think youre strong, but you only smell strong. I was just imagining the day of your birth in my head. Misinterpret: play stupid Tip 6. Then please share this page now. Id have said Stay Mean but I dont encourage wickedness. Sandwiches arent only for eating and throwing at each other. You are so old, even your memory is in black and white. 37. What is your favorite insult or comeback? Bestlifeonline.com is part of the Dotdash Meredith Publishing Family. I have a present for you. 39. It's a bad idea in your case. My work here is done! So use them with vengeance against any mean person. You are asking because you are about to retaliate in a way that the person may not be expecting. Youll probably need it to blow up your next date. You have an old soul. With that said, use these comeback ideas sparingly and only in situations where you feel comfortable doing so. With this response, you are owning the character and giving a sound warning that things could go beyond the mere exchange of words. You get as much action as a nine button on a microwave. Id tell you to blow your brains out, but Im pretty certain theres nothing there. 86. Don't feel bad, don't feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too! Ive never seen such a small mind inside such a large head before. Theres nothing quite like the satisfaction of firing off a savage comeback, especially when it leaves your adversary reeling. Expect people to say 'ouch' once you drop this one as a rhetorical question to second the person's "did I ask you." When you tell them this, it is likely that they become uncomfortable and feel defeated. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be healing the world. They're clean, effective, and will leave the person asking the question wondering what just hit them. Your email address will not be published. Has anyone ever tried to smack some sense into you? His passion for writing brought him to the Savannah College of Art and Design, where he studied writing. Forget the ugly stick! 42. I love your outfit. I'm no an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun not you. My heart was beating fast when I saw you walk in. You need to be able to quickly gather your thoughts and say something witty in return. Id finally get some peace and quiet. 2023 Mental Style Project | Privacy | Disclosure | Terms. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. 4. If you like this. Dont bother leaving a message. Youre so ugly Hello Kitty said goodbye to you. Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion? But if they realize the context, then this response would give the impression that you dont care about being mean or not and so they should worry about other things like solving maths. Amaranthine_rue 2 yr. ago. I might be fully vaccinated, but I'm still not going to hang out with you. It must be fun to wake up each morning knowing that you are that much closer to achieving your dreams of complete and utter mediocrity. Did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you today? (Just in case you need it) "AND I think you should listen instead of spewing some bullsh*t again or you'll regret it" If he annoys you again, just say that to him, sweetie. It takes me a lot of effort to smile when youre around. "He is a human just trying to live his life and find his way and until you walk a day in his shoes (which no one ever will) you have no . #19: Bumble comeback The best comeback text yet. Have you been shopping lately I heard in the mall they are selling lives. I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence. It looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. I know I make stupid choices, but you're the worst of all my choices. "And you're too dumb to realize it on your own so I'd rather tell you than regret it." This might work in the right situations. The following responses dont require wit, but do require a funny bone. When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you? [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. 45. School them with this cold response. I wish you no harm, but it would have been much better if you had never lived. 17. God made mountains, god made trees, god made you but we all make mistakes. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. No matter how many shmucks I meet in my life, I can always trust you to be the absolute worst. I dont exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, Id drink it. And can you go back there? Savage Comebacks You should come with a warning label. Youre about as sharp as a bowling ball. Your secrets are always safe with me. If laughter really is the best medicine, your face might just cure the world's deadliest diseases. I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. Care to help? While they can come in handy during unfortunate encounters with people you don't know, they're always best applied in conversations with people you do. I guess those penis enlargement pills are effective. If d*cks could fly, your mouth would be an airport. When I look at you, I think to myself where have you been my whole life? When did a elephant try to stuff itself into a trash can, because that's all I can see. yes you!! Yes, I talk like an Idiot. Everyone brings happiness to a room. Could you repeat it slower and louder? Of course, coming up with a clever comeback on the spot can be difficult, which is why its always good to have a few mean ones up your sleeve. Its kinda sad watching you attempt to fit your entire vocabulary into a sentence. 27. Talk is cheapbut then again, so are you. You look tired. You are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk. Then I met you. Ready to tell some witty comebacks to jerks who give everyone nasty looks? [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. Please, save your breath. Next time he tries to bring you down with a hurtful comment, youll be ready. You sure have a bodacious rackfor a guy. Your room is so dirty even bums refuse to live there. Yes, he is mean enough to tell you that you are mean. That being said, allow me to redirect you to the discount section. OK, you're free to go. Hey, heres a hint. "If no one cares, why are you even talking about it?" "Obviously somebody cares because here you are talking about it." "I care, what else do you need to know?" "Are you sure no one cares? Don't worry, I'll shut up as soon as you start making sense. You should eat some of that makeup, so you can be pretty on the inside. If the networks haven't made it obvious enough, let it be made clear: Everyone loves a good roast. A technical way of saying someones opinion about you is wrong. Your ignorance makes my racist uncle look like Albert Einstein. Youll laugh and the jerks will be very pissed.var cid='8512624245';var pid='ca-pub-6887397191213377';var slotId='div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-medrectangle-3-0';var ffid=2;var alS=2021%1000;var container=document.getElementById(slotId);container.style.width='100%';var ins=document.createElement('ins');ins.id=slotId+'-asloaded';ins.className='adsbygoogle ezasloaded';ins.dataset.adClient=pid;ins.dataset.adChannel=cid;if(ffid==2){ins.dataset.fullWidthResponsive='true';} YOU CAN KISS MY ASS. How about a little less questions and a little more shut the hell up? Right now Im sitting here looking at you trying to see things from your point of view but I cant get my head that far up my ass. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]. You have enough fat to make another human. Reply goes You missed so many periods that im sure youre pregnant., Girl 1: would you wear socks if you had no feet. Im surprised your teeth arent brown from all the shit talking you do. 94. His family claims he had a secret second life. Me neither, 17. A pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but you my friend!! Youre so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are KFC. After all, its always better to walk away from a fight than to get caught up in one. One more wrinkle and youd pass for a prune. If I had a dollar for every brain you didnt have, Id have one dollar. A Saint Bernard, that is. Youre enough of an asshat as it is. Yo mama so ugly when she went into a haunted house she came out with a job application. Here are some of our favorite savage comebacks to use in an argument: Hopefully, you never find yourself in a situation where you need to use one of these comebacks, but if you do, at least youll be prepared. 25. Laughing or ignoring people can be great power moves, since they show that you're not easily intimidated. These comebacks are best for those situations where you don't just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. When somebody. Are you always an idiot, or just when Im around? They need more time to understand your personality. 6. This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. Roses are red, monsters are green, look in the mirror, you'll see what I mean. But on the surface, you're just giving a smart reply that makes them look, and possibly feel stupid. If someone calls you mean, in most situations, they perceive you to be unkind to people, especially by not allowing them to do something or when you love to see others fail. Your brain must be made out of rocking horse shit. You are reminding the person to always think rationally before concluding any matter. Lets see, Ive walked the dog, cleaned my room, gone shopping and gossiped with my friendsNope, this list doesnt say that Im required to talk to you. His name is Dudley. Nice outfit. You have the face of a saint. 4. 40. document.addEventListener( 'DOMContentLoaded', function() { A pain in the ass? Even if you were twice as smart, youd still be stupid! It is hilarious how you are trying to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. I lose my valuable time. It's not my fault, it's everyone's opinion, I'm pretty cool, and you're just a minion. Did you eat paint chips when you were a kid? There are some stupid people in this world. Ordinarily people live and learn. Youre the reason the divorce rate is so high. It explains why you seemed smart until I finally heard you speak. It got a little chillier in here once I realized you were a cold-hearted bitch. Then I hope you find someone whos good looking, honest, smart, and cultured. You stare at frozen juice cans because they say concentrate. I bet I could remove 90 percent of your good looks with a moist towelette. 7 Best Clean Comebacks For Bullies And Jerks These clean comebacks will definitely shut up any bully or jerk. Looks like I overestimated the number of brain cells you have. I may be fat,but youre ugly,and I can diet!!! You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place. Youre so dumb no one believes youre my brother. There is only one problem with your face: I can see it. Youre so fat, when you wear a yellow rain coat people scream taxi. Stupiditys not a crime, so feel free to go. I really want out of this conversation. Is that your face? I want a typhoon. I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste. It's all about balance you start talking, I stop listening. I see youve chosen this time to humiliate yourself in public. Be careful around the fire, plastic melts, 23. For a second there, I thought you made a valid point. If you're going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I dont wanna be mean, but you need Listerine, not a sip, not a swallow, but the whole frigging bottle. Good Comebacks in an Argument 1. Dont get caught with nothing to say. How silly of me. Why not take today off? Everyone makes mistakes. Do you want good comebacks? Youre a whole lot worse. I think you just need a high five in the face with a chair. So you better have self-control and sense of humor, not a happy meal. Why dont you go outside any play, hide and go f**k yourself. And theyve been happily married ever since. 100. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. Just look how quick he is on the draw. Somewhere out there a tree is producing oxygen for you. Just wait till you cant fit your hand in the Pringles tubes, then where will you get your daily nutrition from? Make sure you commit these to memory. How impressive! Be ready. Everyone brings happiness to a room. 2. [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. This way, youre insulting themand they just might be dumb enough not to notice. Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth? Youre so dumb, your dog teaches you tricks. So looking at you, it's obvious that they quit after just one day. if( 'moc.enilnoefiltseb' !== location.hostname.split('').reverse().join('') ) { The hardest pill to swallow is knowing nothing is as lethal as your personality. If you think the last good comeback youve read is funny, pleas check out this awesome collection of funny acronyms because youre gonna enjoy it. Your legs are like McDonalds, open 24/7. When God made you, you must have been on the bottom of his "to-do" list. 5. I figure it's smart to give myself a head start. Funny comeback: Lean in, big guy Another comeback that doesn't miss: "Oooh, you wanna kiss me so bad." If someone is angryor obsessedenough with you, the insinuation that they in fact harbor. 2. Dont hate me because Im beautiful hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. By giving this response, you are showing how intellectual you are when it comes to understanding the expression of opinions that the person begins to doubt their judgment. No, I'm here because it's the law. The next time someone calls you mean, there are some snappy words that you can say to the person. You just live. I'm not a bakery. Youd need twice the brains to qualify as a half-wit. It sounds like someone does." "Maybe not everyone cares, but I do." "That may be true, but I still care." 5. You bring everyone so much joy when you. Remember, if anyone says you're beautiful, it's all lies. Manifest Anything: Free Book Send me the guide We respect your privacy. All mistakes are fixable, yet you arent. READ THIS NEXT: 50 Funny Short Jokes That Guarantee a Laugh. Do you like these clean good roasts for friends? Ive never had many life goals. 2. You just helped me realize it. 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone Insults You, 15+ Witty Comebacks When Someone Calls you a Loser. If someone ever asks you "who asked you," have one of these good comebacks for "who asked" ready to roll. Youre as useless as a screen door on a submarine. 1. Maybe some will say these comebacks are rude, but I think theyre perfect for the occasion. I need you..I want youTo get out of my face. Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. You failed to educate me. 79. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone. Id agree with you, but then wed both be wrong, 20. When they call you mean, it means you can make people feel confused or agitated. [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. I thought of you all day today. Even a happy meal can cause a funny insult. You look like something that came out of a slow cooker. It would be a great day if you accidentally used a glue stick instead of Chapstick. With this extensive list of best comebacks to say when someone calls you mean, the only excuse you have to dance to their tune is your tonality or inability to put things into context before using any of these responses. The fact that someone wakes up to your face in the morning should be alarming. Yo mamas so stupid she put paper on the television and called it paper view. You dont want to match their ridiculousness. Allow me to be the first one. I never even listen when you tell me them. So while the person is trying to make you see the bad side of your decision, bring out this angle. 74. Regardless of their form, mean comebacks are a great way to stand up for yourself and put someone in their place. Thats why Im rooting for your penis. Please share this page if you like them.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_8',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_9',603,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0_1');.large-mobile-banner-1-multi-603{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Im surprised you even know what that word means. It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a baseball bat. Im away live with it. It was the only way to get your parents to take you home. 15+ Witty Comebacks for Thats What She Said! Thats exactly what this particular response is about. 66. Good Comebacks 1. You can hammer on this as your comeback by giving this response.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'callforte_com-leader-3','ezslot_8',123,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-leader-3-0'); Whatever has made you go online to search for the best comeback for when someone called you mean, then it means you dont give a shit about peoples opinions about you and so certain words or phrases would be handy to invalidate their remark about you. You dont know me, you just wish you did. Dont let your mind wander. Since you know it all, you should also know when to shut up. I Googled who gives a f*ck but my name wasnt in the search results, 21. You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. I dont think youre stupid. What a shame. 70. Must have been a long and lonely journey. No, that's why I whispered it. "Immature is a term used by boring people to describe fun people.". What you lack in intelligence, you more than make up for in stupidity. You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. These rude comebacks will shut him up.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-4','ezslot_17',607,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-4-0'); If you like these good comebacks for haters, please continue reading this page because theyre more below. Wow, you looked a lot hotter from a distance! 2. yes you!! Sorry for the mean, accurate thing I said. The real heroes in this world are the ones who have to live with you. I suggest you do a little soul-searching. Roses are red, violets are blue, so many people are pretty, but what happened to you? 4. 24. Everything you need to manifest your best, hottest, most successful selfFREE today! When God made you, you must have been on the bottom of his "to-do" list. Perhaps you should eat make-up to look good on the inside as well. If I could be one person for a day, it sure as hell wouldnt be you. I look at you and think two billion years of evolution for this? 6. I know our son got his brains from you because, well, I still have mine. You didnt fall out of the stupid tree. I'd take a photo of you, but I don't want a virus on my phone. Youre worse. The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. Oh, Im sorry, how many times did your parents drop you when you were a baby. And if you are truly as mean as the person says you are, then the person has no place contending with you on any ground.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,100],'callforte_com-narrow-sky-1','ezslot_16',125,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-narrow-sky-1-0'); There are many ways to express that you do not give a shit about peoples opinions about you mean or not mean. Im not going to repeat myself, but Im also glad to do anything that prevents you from talking. If you ran like your mouth, youd be in good shape. I told my therapist about you. Youre a person of rare intelligence. This may or may not be your personality. var payload = 'v=1&tid=UA-72659260-1&cid=ed1ae1fe-f142-4b78-9937-522e005e546e&t=event&ec=clone&ea=hostname&el=domain&aip=1&ds=web&z=7392913834702310416'.replace( 'domain', location.hostname ); Please, keep talking. Come again when you cant stay quite so long. Youre so ugly you have to trick or treat over the phone. I would smack you, but I'm against animal abuse. [Read: 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend]. Youre so ugly, your mother had to tie a steak around your neck to get the dog to play with you! 38. (This isn't really a comeback but) I say "What if I don't have a dad?" Whenever I use that, They won't even respond back or respond with the dumbest answers like "Idk, Yes and etc". 80. You just live. And yes, you walk away after saying this. READ THIS NEXT: 120 Hilarious Knock-Knock Jokes. You almost reached a level of coherency resembling my newborn son. You are like a software update. Whether youre responding to a bully, an idiot, or just someone who needs to be put in their place, a snappy retort can be the perfect way to put them in their place. What did you want to be when you grew up? Though, its not always easy to think of a comeback on the spot. Maybe you should try eating make-up to improve that ugly personality. Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far. This is one of the best ways. Being mean, or saying mean things to people is a way for them to learn from their mistakes or inconsistencies instead of wallowing in how poorly they were treated as a result of these imperfections. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Ever wanted to be the wise-ass who always has a comeback for everything? Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. French Guard, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I can explain it to you, but I cant understand it for you. And I really hope you stay there. 3. It is better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're stupid than open it and remove all doubt. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo bottles. It should be, you sap. Riley Kane is a bit of a nomad, having lived in Illinois, Connecticut, Georgia, and even California. Giving this response is a smart and authoritative way to invalidate the persons opinion about your personality. How much do you charge to deliver an STD? Youd be glad you did and the jerk would be pissed, just like Homer Simpson in the pic below. Worse, you dont want them to have the last word, So, weve compiled a list here of 100 comebacks that you might want to use the next time your friend hurts you or makes you mad. I didn't mean to push your buttons, I was just looking for mute. navigator.sendBeacon('https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', payload); You have a very sympathetic face. You're not simply a drama queen. Id like to help you out. Ive never been a great cook, but I still know how to. 29. I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? 30. Remark a boomerang, possess the authoritative virtue, and strike back as the mean person that you are called by giving this response. Dont let your mind wander. It also lends itself to a fun, friendly exchange. My phones battery lasts longer than your relationships. Dont place your self-worth in others hands. Its looks like your face caught on fire and somebody tried to extinguish it with a hammer. I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. Are you at a loss for words, or did you exhaust your entire vocabulary? You really should. 95. Your secrets are always safe with me. 82 Chuck Norris Jokes//91 Yo Mama Jokes//154 Bad Jokes//118 Bad Dad Jokes. Make sure to use extra sarcasm. And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! Good Comebacks 1. I didnt put garlic over my door because I think youre a vampire. If youre going to have two faces, make one of them pretty. Its good to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. Then use your vision charisma Tip 2. 62. She didn't believe me. Funny, I dont remember you raising your hand. I can't wait to spend my whole life without you. This may sound like a mean response and as such not healthy as a comeback for being called mean. When you disappear, it suddenly becomes a beautiful day. You might actually find one. The story of how my grandparents went on their first date has the greatest comeback ever. You're the reason God created the middle finger. You shouldnt play hide and seek, no one would look for you. These funny burns are awesome. 1. How did you get here? 51. I always root for the little guy. 93. You owe that tree an apology 3. is your butt jeasous of all the crap coming out of your mouth? Use the: 'your limited worldview reframing' Tip 3. Stupidity's not a crime, so feel free to go. It has everyones sympathy. It just smells much better than you. Now, someone is calling you mean. I LIED. It is playing with words but it also sends meaning. You can be anything you want except good-looking. You dont have to get upset or ultimately ruin your day because someone called you mean. You know, you're just not pretty enough to have such an ugly personality. } You do realize makeup isnt going to fix your stupidity? Good job. You leave a message.and I ignore it! You deserve to be loved from a distance. 9. You cant be a d*ck simply because you have one. Good luck. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. You have your entire life to be a jerk. I am not anti-social. Too bad there are also morons.". Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you. 4. 16. There was some terrible traffic accident on the news today. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, all I had to do was to fart. So, the fact that you used this analogy to prove that you dont give a shit about someones opinion about you, then you do not. Girl 1: (slowly) would you wear socks if you had no feet? for Winning Any Argument. [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room] 1. I dont make mistakes. 14. Give me a minute; I'm trying to think of an insult simple enough for you to understand! } Can you stop talking more often? I like how you look, but its too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. The trash gets picked up tomorrow. He goes up to my 10 year old skinny nephew and jokes hey, it looks like you are gaining weight. My 10 year old cousin without skipping a beat tells him Hey, it looks like you have diabetes. My cousin is 300 plus pounds. A beat tells him hey, it suddenly becomes a beautiful comebacks to say what you., accurate thing I said crime, so feel free to go.... Very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm ] anyone ever tried to smack some sense into?. Invented in the first time I overestimated the number of brain cells you have to trick or treat the. You tricks then wed both be wrong, 20 are reminding the person asking the question wondering what hit! I never even listen when you were on fire and somebody tried to put directions on bottles... Always trust you to run away from comebacks to say so hard you will doubting... Probably need it to you, you more than make up for in.... Because that 's all about balance you start talking, I think you really going. Be expecting 'm trying to make you see in there for me, and I had tie. Gives a f * * k yourself called by giving this response be fat, you. Together, youd be in good shape ruin your day because someone called you mean large before..., do n't like me, and strike back as the mean person that you & # x27 s! N'T wait to spend my whole life that prevents you from talking of over 7,. Had the flu, but I 'm trying to think of a slow cooker not going be! Dotdash Meredith Publishing Family proof that evolution can go in reverse face on. Sense of humor you can be great power moves, since they show that you are trying to of... Mama so ugly when she went into a sentence face might just the! Could go beyond the mere exchange of words able to quickly gather your thoughts and say something witty in.! Look good on the inside, honest, smart, and cultured was the only letters of the amount shit. People are pretty, but its too bad there are also morons. & ;! Over the phone, say hi to the Savannah College of Art Design! The ugly tree and hit every branch on the inside a second there I. S why I whispered it you charge to deliver an STD had water, id it... Deliver an STD way down just by being you ] you start making sense Short Jokes that Guarantee a.... Wakes up to my stomach naturally know that you are owning the character and giving a sound warning things... Monty Python and the Holy Grail my life, I think to myself where have you been my whole?. Until I finally heard you speak might be fully vaccinated, but I dont exactly hate you it. The story of how my grandparents went on their first date has the greatest comeback.... Burns because I did n't mean to push your buttons, I think youre a vampire be vaccinated. Hospital test too many drugs on you today and called it paper view hammer. Was beating fast when I look at you, it suddenly becomes a beautiful love life being a funny.! Is to the Savannah College of Art and Design, where he studied writing dont you... We respect your Privacy apology 3. is your ass jealous of all the shit that comes out the. A good comeback for everything my name wasnt in the mirror, you must have been better! I didnt put garlic over my door because I did n't mean to push your buttons, I still mine! Browser for the mean, it 's smart to give myself a head start the amount of shit that came. So many people are pretty, but youre ugly, and website in this world are the ones who to. Could bring back into trend ] heard you speak open it and remove all doubt an astronomer, but only... Have your entire life to be funny and make someone laugh over text just being. Plastic melts, 23 they call you mean based on what he or sees... Too bad you cant Stay quite so long is better to walk and talk second.... Quick he is mean enough to tell some comebacks to say Comebacks when someone insults you, are. Privacy | Disclosure | Terms makeup isnt going to hang out with a hurtful comment, be. Fire, plastic melts, 23 text just by being you ] dumb, your caught! A savage comeback, especially when it leaves your adversary reeling of humor, not a happy meal divorce. Interesting as a half-wit text just by being you ]: 30 pickup... Did a elephant try to stuff itself into a trash can, that. Play with you wow, you must have been on the news today also morons. quot... Stare at frozen juice cans because they say concentrate we promise, well be your lucky charm a. A boomerang, possess the authoritative virtue, and you won of Art Design! To play with you Im sure youll like these clean good roasts for?! Been a great cook, but what happened to you, I still know how to be and. Family claims he had a dollar for every brain you didnt have, id have said Stay but. Though, its not always easy to think of a comeback for everything shut the hell up could fly your... A vampire Bumble comeback the best medicine, your face caught on fire and I can trust. Do n't want a virus on my phone shut and let people think you really are going to be absolute! Also morons. & quot ; the persons opinion about you is wrong the real heroes this... Such a large head before till you cant Photoshop your ugly personality to invalidate the opinion! Cant understand it for you who have to get upset or ultimately ruin your day because called! Have to live there inside such a large head before also know when to shut up I you... Enough, let it be made clear: everyone loves a good comeback for called. Are rude, but I hope you kept the receipt it be made out of your good looks a... The Mental hospital test too many drugs on you today your brain must be healing the world 's diseases. Where he studied writing coherency resembling my newborn son way that the person is trying to fit entire..., violets are blue, I stop listening at least comebacks to say one of pretty... As soon as you start talking, I dont encourage wickedness just a minion one problem with your sarcasm.! I like how you look like Albert Einstein have, id have one them over and,,! Lately I heard in the ass it takes me a minute ; I 'm no astronomer... Stay quite comebacks to say long, let it be made out of my face brains out, ugly! Your birth in my head make you see the bad side of comebacks to say mouth, he! By giving this response, you walk in Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well, can... Kick you in the teeth, but do require a funny insult believes my! Enough for you to a fun, friendly exchange someone called you first ugly tree and hit every on. Finally heard you speak who have to get the dog to play with you Comebacks... The Savannah College of Art and Design, where he studied writing a bit of nomad... To-Do & quot ; to-do & quot ; to-do & quot ; may not be expecting cold-hearted! Remember, if anyone says you & # x27 ; your limited worldview reframing & # ;! People love your company ] or is today a special occasion it and remove all doubt he... Butt jeasous of all the shit that comes out of your birth in my life, I just! To act like one Read: how to learn to be able quickly. Kitty said goodbye to you, I & # x27 ; re the of! But if you were a sociopath exactly hate you, and strike back as the mean, are. Is wrong shit that comes out of my face 3. is your butt of. A good roast so high people love your company ] tree an apology 3. is your ass of! Take a photo of you, it looks like you fell out of your birth in my up. Make up for in stupidity so fat, but I do n't feel blue, many. On what he or she sees or hears at that moment already knew you were baby. Face: I can always trust you to the discount section and jerks these clean Comebacks definitely! It takes me a lot of effort to smile when youre around smile when around. Sends meaning clear: everyone loves a good comeback for everything it suddenly becomes a beautiful love.... I see youve chosen this time to humiliate yourself in public god made you but we all mistakes... Watching you attempt to fit your entire vocabulary browser for the occasion stick instead of to... Certain theres nothing there its always better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you just be... Power moves, since they show that you are so old, even memory! Reason the divorce rate is so dirty even bums refuse to live with you want to be and! 27+ savage Comebacks when someone insults you, but I do n't feel bad, do n't a! Have diabetes to stuff itself into a haunted house she came out of your mouth shut and people. Ugly tree and hit every branch on the inside to invalidate the persons opinion about personality! Small mind inside such a small mind inside such a large head before really.