Mane Street. What happened when they invited the controversial speaker on horses? A horse was euthanised following a fall in the third race on the final day of the Aintree Festival. Well, by the look of it, the man says, Youll win!Have you ever heard of the band Foals?They have a colt following.How did the horse with the speech impediment feel after corrective surgery went wrong?A bit filly.What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horses mouth?A mechanic.What does it mean if you find a horseshoe?Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.I recently bought a female Horse that I was hoping to ride daily, but she only sleeps during the day.Shes turning out to be such a Nightmare.I put a bet on a horse to come in at 10 to 1 and it did! Cheer up with these food jokes that everyone will find funny. 12.) When does a horse talk. Did you hear about the man who was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him? What is a horse's favourite sport? Why is the Kentucky Derby always done in the middle of spring? He asks the horses owner, Why on earth would you want to get rid of such an incredible animal?, The owner says, Because hes a liar! The doctor said: Its OK, youre just a little horse.A jockey is walking down the road leading a racehorse when he bumps into a friend. After a couple of days they'll ask for your feed back. Why are most horses in shape?Because they are on a stable diet. So what have you done with your life? he asks the horse. Q: What NFL football matchup is always a win-win for horses? The elevator goes up up up and the door reopens in Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. Suitable for the young and old, these horse jokes for kids will have you in stitches. So 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud playing the harp and singing. Youll enjoy these top-notch horse jokes if youre an equestrian! As a trained teacher and now private tutor, I help children learn math every day, and I use this blog to share some tips and tricks with parents like you. 50.) A pony went to the doctor complaining about having a sore throat. Whos there?Quiet horse. First things first: We love horses. Race it, replies the jockey, surprised. Now, as promised, lets get into these horse puns that will make you laugh your butt off. Here are 65 funny horse jokes and the best horse puns to crack you up. Score: 5. Did you hear what happened to the best horse racer of all time? The cowboy wipes the sweat off his forehead. Whyd ya kiss your horse on the ass before coming in? So the crowd started calling him arrogant as he couldnt get off his high horse.What do you call a racehorse whos too old to race?Fast paste.A man has a racehorse who never won a race.Man in disgust says, Horse, you win today or you pull a milk wagon tomorrow morning.The starting gate opens, the horses take-off, they move the gate away and there lays his horse asleep on the track.He kicks the horse and asks, WHY ARE YOU SLEEPINGThe horse, half asleep says, I have to get up at three in the morning.Did you hear what happened at the racetrack yesterday?One horse was so slow, they had to pay the jockey overtime.Why is it hard so hard to carry on a conversation with racehorses?They dont stand around furlong!Two greyhound are sitting in a stableThey are both boasting to each other about their racing victories. In a bar, a horse walks in. This means that they do not eat animals and only eat plants; so in other words, they are vegetarians! All; Latest Episodes; Fiction; Non-fiction; Kids; Gimlet. Where do newly married horses sleep?In the bridle suite. Thank God!. As the Desperado saddles up, a local cant help but ask, Sir, what exactly was it you had to do in Houston?, The Desperado narrows his eyes and hisses at the man, I had to walk home.. Horses such as the mustang also range throughout North America. 9.) When do vampires like horse racing?When its neck and neck. Your name is written inside the cover.What do you use to tie a horses ankles together?Fetlocks!What does it mean when you find a horseshoe on the ground?Some poor horse is walking around in socks.What did one horse say to the other horse?The pace is familiar but I cant remember the mane.Did you see how good that new blacksmith was at fitting horseshoes?He absolutely nailed it!Whats the difference between horses and zebras?Zebras are just horses that have escaped from prison.Favourite Def Leppard song?Pour Some Shergar On Me.How do you turn a dinosaur into a horse?Use an internal combustion engine.Why did the farmer give his pony a cough drop?Its throat was a little hoarse. Today, we are shedding some light on this untapped potential for great comedy. This is the best collection of Clean Horse Jokes that youll find anywhere. Why are you sleeping? asks the jockey, to which the horse replies, because Im going to have to get up early in the morning., A man was complaining that he couldnt tell his two horses apart from each other. Q: Why was the race horse so dirty? The horse replied, You read my mind!, A horse walked into a therapists office looking upset. How do you save a horse possessed by an evil spirit?Perform an ex-horse-ism. 17. A. These funny horse jokes are sure to make you and your pals laugh out loud! We've got the silliest Horse Jokes in town! Knock Knock. What do you call a noisy horse?A herd animal. I didnt like the horse comedian that much. A: I can't take your order. Why should people never be rude to jump jockeys? What do you do? What do you call a horse that cant lose a race?Sherbet.Whats black and white and eats like a horse?A zebra.Why should you never be rude to a jump jockey?In case he takes offence.What makes a horse sneeze?Hay fever.Rein it in with the gossip!Youll stirrup trouble.What sort of horses come out after dark?NightmaresWhy did the man stand behind the horse?He was hoping to get a kick out of it.Horses favourite vintage TV chef?Fanny Paddock.Look at that horses new boyfriend.Hes such a stud!What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?A neigh-bor.Horses favourite pop duo?Stall and Oats!Where do horses get their hair done?At the hair saloon.Whats a horses favourite TV show?Neighbours of course.I named my horse Mayo.Sometimes, Mayo-neighs. Long jokes are usually hilarious because of the buildup and a proper punchline at the end. Wow! says one, after a hushed silence. Watch that horse language! Why did the horse eat with its mouth open? According to the BLM, there are an estimated 82,000 wild horses and burros located in the Western United States, with herds of 300-500 in the rest of the country. Yes please, says the horse.Hey, a one horse open sleigh isnt the only fun thing to ride.If you are a horse, you will always be my first pick.I call my son Seabiscuit because all he does is horse around.Those things they put in horses mouths do they hurt?A bit.Horses can run smoothly on a frozen racecourse But not furlong.How do horses cast their vote?By saying yay or neigh!Youll never find a horse using an Android phone.They only like Apples.What do you say to a horse after it loses a bet?Pony up!Where do horses love to shop?Old Neigh-vy. Son: Can I have a pony for Christmas?Mom: The ovens only big enough for a turkey! The bartender says, Hey., The horse says, Buddyyou read my mind!. He dismounts and gives a happy "Hello! A: In Maine. Owning a horse can be serious business. What do you call a horse wearing Venetian blinds?A zebra. The post 17 Horse Jokes You Can't Help but Laugh At appeared first on Reader's Digest. 99.) At a glance, Bargatze . Animal Joke Where do horses live. Stable tennis. 98.) There once lived a family of balloons, there was: A mommy balloon, a daddy balloon and a kid balloon. So, why not encourage your childs love of joke-telling, and make it an educational experience at the same time?! Did these horse puns give you a hoof and a holler! A horse walks into a bar. A horse-pital! Where do horses get their hair done. Horses are mystical creatures who have long been human companions, dating back to medieval Times. jokes for kids, 6. A: Mane Street. A horse fell into a mud puddleHusbands are like horsesIf youre not riding them, theyre running off.First time i had sex, when the girl pulled my pants down she yelled WOW THATS LIKE A HORSEVery proud i said: Its that big huh?She replied: NO IT FUCKING STINKSA policeman sees a little girl riding her bike and says, Did Santa get you that?Yes, replies the little girl.Well, says the policeman, tell Santa to put a reflector light on it next year, and fines her $5.The girl looks up at the policeman and says, Nice horse youve got there, did Santa bring you that? The policeman chuckles and replies, He sure did!Well, says the little girl, next year, tell Santa the ass goes on the back of the horse and not on top of it.So a cowboy parks his horse at the saloon, ties him to the outside, kisses him on the ass, and walks in to have a stiff drink.The bar keeper saw this happen, and he just had to ask. Here you will find great collection of funny silly and corny horse jokes for kids of all ages teens and adults who do not want to grow up. How did the cowboy ride into town on Friday, stay for three days, and ride out on Friday?His horses name was Friday! Hay fever. Q: What do you name a horse you root for? This. Horses have been domesticated for over 5000 years. 52.) A: A zebra. What do you say to people that ride tall mares? Score: 6. Stop your search because we have compiled this article of funny horse jokes for you. All his jokes were about bad mare-ages. 2020 LIVIN3. Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horses mouth? What do you call a horse thats good at riding? Where do horses go when theyre sick?The horsepital.A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. How is this possible?The horses name was Friday.Horses are so negative.All they do is neigh.Where do horses stay after they get married?The bridle suite.This one horse always has a bad attitude.She keeps saying, Neigh.How do you get a wild horse to accept a halter?You turn the stables on him.Why did the little pony wake up scared?It had a night-mare!Why was the horse naked?Because the jockey fell off.If I ever get a horse, Im naming him Jesus.Then I can say to people I lead him to water, but couldnt make Him walk on it.What song makes a horse want to get up and dance?Watch me whipwatch me neigh, neigh! Q. A: With cough stirrup. If so, we invite you to share them with your friends on social media or in person! Horse Related Puns. 87.) Q: What do they serve before dinner in the stable? There are plenty of horse jokes out there, and while it was hard to pick favorites, we decided to put together a list of some of the horse jokes we laughed at the most. Old Jokes. Why did the jockey refuse to race? Q: Which US state do horses like to go for vacation? 3.) I have repaired fences herded and tended to cows and caught escaped cows. Three racehorses are staying in a stable. Q: What did the horse say in the hundred acre wood? Youll find more funny jokes for kids here: 2017-2023 Michael & Gabriel, Inc. - All Rights Reserved. Where do horses live in a city? What do you call a horse with two legs?A horse without two legs. It gives you a bunch of short horse jokes for kids that you can use at home with the family or on those long car journeys. Q: How do you know when a horse has a negative attitude? Of course, those long faces and giant teeth can lend to some pretty good belly laughs, too. 79.) Well, let it be known that horse jokes aren't just for kids anymore! Kids will laugh out loud when they hear these jokes about horse. Some kind of animal!. A horse walks into a restaurant. Check out these fun links. 6.) 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