Things dont always happen the way we want them to, and sometimes mistakes are made. But I have a question. Judging yourself from what you did doesnt help you fix the problem, he adds. Anxiety & Depression Association of America, ADAA Blog Content and Blog Comments Policy, Evidence-based Tips & Strategies from our Member Experts, Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) Peer to Peer Community, Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRBs), Adult ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder), Types of Mental Health Care Professionals, Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Resources, Alies Muskin Career Development Leadership Program. The more we dwell on it, the more we identify with it. Identify your most common triggers. Sometimes we try not to accept reality and develop unreasonable expectations. The nightmare was over but she hadnt come out of it. Self-compassion guided practices and exercises. So, even if it doesnt come naturally at first, try to come back to the present whenever you find yourself thinking about the past. But what happens when they start affecting your mood and relationships? This can make self-forgiveness more attainable. A well-known saying that We have a hope of succeeding if we learn from our past mistakes and pull together to make the hard choices.Carl Levin. Inside the Mating Psychology of Involuntary Celibates, When to Cut the Cord on an Emotionally Distant Relationship, 3 Things to Consider While Living Your "Fleabag Era", 17 Reasons to Keep Going When You Dont Think You Can, The Myth of Normal: Speaking to Gabor Mat, 8 Reasons to Try Low-Carb for Mental Health, Why Anger Is Nothing More Than Repressed Anxiety, Compulsive Spending: What You Need to Know, Trauma Reenactment in Our Intimate Relationships. In most cases, though, youll think about this incident a little less every day. When mistakes happen, remember these things in order to stop worrying about the mistakes: The mistakes have already happened. Peterson adds that if strategies youve tried on your own arent successful, it may be a sign that its time to see a therapist. This is someone with extensive knowledge of the subject matter and highly cited published material. 4. Physician Johannes Hofer first used the term in the late 1600s to describe the anxiety, . Here's how to identify and stop these distorted thoughts. This includes acts of self-forgiveness. Its OK to be an imperfect person because thats what we all are. But try distraction as a tool to manage. Personal triggers can be as minor as a smell, place, or even a song that reminds an individual of negative and discomforting experiences. Nguyen recommends looking at these behaviors as something separate from your identity. If stress and anxiety are among those feelings, the intensity of it may overcome me and further cause anxiety, completely overwhelming me. A lot of times we are much harder on ourselves than we would be on our loved ones.. hence it is suggested that individuals take conscious amounts of caffeine per day. How we react to mistakes affects our mental health. triggers associated with health diagnosis tend to have a strong impact on an individual because of the strong negative thoughts and emotions that are associated with it. This later leads to disappointment, negativity, and depression. In this, the therapy sessions are carried out one-to-one over a video or audio call. Over time I have found that one very effective strategy is to ask key questions. ADAA does not provide psychiatric, psychological, or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. 5. One must not be worrying about past days as it can block our future progress. Its only when the anxiety resurfaces due to some environmental triggers is when an individual realizes how guilty they are about their mistakes and the ability to resolve them efficiently. Even though anxiety is seen among many individuals, certain triggers make some people more vulnerable to anxiety than others due to their past mistakes. How Anxiety Causes Procrastination . It possible to be so caught up in past negativity that you miss the opportunities right in front of you. Worrying about the past and Its Impact on Your Reputation, 5. I believe that we all tend to look at our past behaviors/mistakes in variouls ways. Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing honestly about your experiencethat is a brave first step. You will have a feeling of stiffness and achy. Last medically reviewed on February 7, 2022. When it comes to mental health, there's no "one-size-fits-all." Personal triggers can remind an individual of an unconscious or conscious dramatic event in an individuals life that triggers their anxiety. Putting down ones thoughts and feelings onto a paper helps to provide a sense of temporary relief. Almost all negative thinking is linked to distorted thoughts. The untrained mind can ruin precious relationships and harden hearts. A habit of rumination can be dangerous to your mental health, as it can prolong or. ADAA wants to ensure the integrity of this service and therefore, use of this service is limited to participants who agree to adhere to the following guidelines: 1. This site complies with the HONcode standard for If youre feeling guilty, try to let it flow without dwelling on it. Perhaps you think about an event that you felt stressed about, or you regret the way you handled it, and so you replay it over and over again in your mind. You cant quell rumination without noticing that youre doing it, but people arent always able to spot it in themselves. These can be managed following these 9 techniques. It is essential to understand that your past mistakes do not define you. So, before you go deep into your next would have, should have, could have spiral, give one or more of these ideas a go. Copyright OptimistMinds 2023 | All Rights Reserved. Recognizing that we often wont understand the reasons for someone elses behavior is a hugely important skill in reducing rumination. Anxiety is with me through most of the day. What causes impostor syndrome and what does it feel like? Next, get some psychological distance from your thoughts by labeling them. Practicing self-forgiveness can protect your mental health. Understanding why you cant stop ruminating on the past can be the first step to finding relief. To help with this, Nguyen suggests looking at behaviors that induce intense feelings of guilt. document.write('<'+'div id="placement_331089_'+plc331089+'">'); Entitlement and personalizing can indicate that you tend to think the world revolves around you. However, you need to stop such thoughts when they start to spiral out of control. 2. Rumination is a widespread problem. 2. (2021, March 16). Your understanding about yourself and past situations isnt necessarily the same you had back then. Anxiety due to once past mistakes can also be a result of some environmental or situational triggers that lead to the resurfacing of the memory of these mistakes causing an intense sense of anxiousness and worry. As soon as you notice you're ruminating, try to distract yourself for a few minutes. For some reason, I think that if I relive it, I can come up with alternative scenarios that help me feel less anxious, when in reality, doing so actually increases my anxiety. Individuals might also experience anxiety because of interpersonal or intrapersonal conflicts. Many individuals can put behind their past and move ahead with life however this isnt true for an accountable number of individuals who carry their past with them consciously or unconsciously. Give yourself a break. We cultivate regrets and experience distress. You can learn to manage it. Our minds are programmed to keep fragments of the dead past alive. Lack of Concentration: Most of the time people find it difficult concentrating on work. This may help you take some corrective actions with regard to what you've regretted for a long time, such as expressing your regret to someone you hurt. Distinguish between ruminating and problem solving. Insomnia. This can be relationships, jobs, hobbies, or places to be. What's the Difference Between Compulsions and Obsessions? You also care about making sure that the mistakes of the past are not . In the case of journal entry, a person does not even have to fear being judged by another person regarding their thoughts and feelings. it is believed that many over-the-counter medications may contribute to the symptoms of anxiety in some individuals. But, because Im aware of this pattern, Ive learned to not ruminate over my initial impressions. When you remember a mistake in the past, you understandably feel some shame, regret, or disappointment. trustworthy health information: verify There have been many times that my anxiety about something has grown into an obsession. Akhtar S, et al. Like many emotions, resentment can both benefit and harm you. Forgiving someone else can become a healing experience. These exercises can help. We only worry about the things we care about most, and recognizing anxiety is trying to protect you can help you deal with it more constructively. 2. In reply to So often anxiety is by Anonymous (not verified), Hi Lizanne, get hung up about very small amounts of money, How to Get People to Accept a Tough Decision, Collaborating with people I dont yet trust, Being around people who seem smarter or more ambitious. Results of a study from 2017 also show that forgiveness can increase positive emotions, improve relationships, enhance spiritual growth, boost empowerment, and connect you with a sense of purpose in life. To begin to move past these issues, start thinking about how worry and perfectionism may be holding you back. I don't worry about the mistakes. There's a learning curve in any new situation, so rather than thinking about mistakes, reframe them as learning opportunities. It develops due to stress, physical activity, or any muscular condition. Or, we don't know how to move forward after we do something wrong . When we ruminate, we repetitively think about certain troublesome thoughts over and over again.. Taking a shower or bath may help. (2020). Enough cowardice. However, it is noted that many people experience anxiety attacks that are not significantly displayed. Of course, you care deeply about the safety of your relationship and your future happiness. Our online platform allows you to access therapy from the comfort of your own home, making it easier for you to prioritize your mental health. Thank you so much for sharing! 15 Cognitive Distortions To Blame for Negative Thinking, 6 Neuroplasticity Exercises for Anxiety Relief, Intentional Living: Tips to Be Intentional in Everything You Do, What Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Feels Like, When You Fear Manifesting Negative Thoughts. This is particularly true if the event is traumatic. As and when the individual gets comfortable with the situation or stimulus introduced or exposed to them with each session individuals get more comfortable with a real-life situation that might have otherwise been a source for triggering anxiety. A key to reducing the frequency and intensity of anxiety attacks could be spending time with close family and friends. If you cant stop thinking about the past but dont have a mental health condition, it may be easier for you to recognize and cope with the negative thought cycle, says Peterson. This column first appeared on Troymedia. Find happiness in little things and learn to laugh. (2014). This anxiety could arise from the inability to deal with the mistakes or a sense of guilt of committing the mistake. Going through stress and trauma when you're very young is likely to have a particularly big impact. ADAA will remove these posts immediately upon notice. Retrieved How you react to mistakes affects your mental health, so what are you going to do next time youre faced with a mistake? I agree that being self-critical is very normal with anxiety. In some situations, you might be able to just refocus your attention on what youre supposed to be doing. If weve once robbed a bank and from then on we keep thinking of ourselves as bank robbers, chances are well repeat the action whenever the opportunity presents itself. It is essential to have control over your thoughts and expectations. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. Sometimes rumination is triggered by cognitive errors. Peterson, TJ. It's important to let go of things that have happened in the past. You can learn specific coping strategies to handle the triggers when they happen. Depending on other symptoms you may or may not have, a mental health professional may give you a specific diagnosis like anxiety or OCD. If we instead learn to think of ourselves as a worthy individual who was previously misguided and did something reprehensible, we can channel our thoughts and actions more positively. More than 92 million benzodiazepine prescriptions are yearly dispensed in the US, yet little is known about the experiences of those taking them. But where's the line between venting, complaining, and outright self-pity? We often fail to realize were so much more than our past mistakes. Patterns of revictimization in a persons romantic relationships may be based on unconsciously choosing partners that trigger attachment wounds. These negative thoughts are then projected to various areas of an individuals life creating an overall sense of lack of control over oneself and the environment which triggers anxiety. Apart from doing activities that an individual is usually fond of and has expertise in, trying new and challenging activities that put an individual outside their comfort zone in a healthy manner may help reduce the stress and anger temporarily. Recognizing the absurdity in some of your reactions can also help you take them less seriously. These fluctuations might make an individual feel jittery which in turn triggers anxiety. Dwelling might put you on an endless loop that could affect your emotional health. When you get a scratch, your body immediately starts the healing process. Even if youre not aware of it, thinking persistently about the past may be something you do to find relief from things that are out of your control. Look forward and forge ahead. Which of these is not a risk factor for unhealthy anger? Exposure therapy is a kind of therapy in which an individual is exposed to a particular stimulus that they usually fear or are anxious about in a graded order. The problem is that when you are feeling regret over past choices or past mistakes, you might sometimes miss out on the joys of the present moment. As a result of this regretful experience, have I changed the way I behave and respond to similar situations?. Repeatedly returning to the same negative thoughts and sticking with them has far-reaching effects, explains Peterson. First, identify your common triggers. Knowing this means youve already learned a lesson. An individuals lifestyle plays a major role in their experience of anxiety. Earn badges to share on LinkedIn and your resume. Comparing your." It is based on the principle that when an individual interacts with other people who are suffering from the same fears they might not feel left alone or isolated. A stress management routine will help you to cope with anxiety and boost your immune system. One of the most horrible nightmare experiences I ever heard of was that of a young mother who, in her dream, had oven-roasted and eaten her baby girl. (2011). In short, it is true that the majority of people have experienced past mistakes causing anxiety. Mindfulness can be a way to shift attention from past mistakes. Apart from environmental factors ones eating habits might also contribute to an individuals anxiety directly or indirectly. As a BetterHelp affiliate, we may receive compensation from BetterHelp if you purchase products or services through the links provided. I then ask these questions to explore a regretful situation further: 1. We often feel guilty and keep ourselves let down due to past incidents and never take part in healthy activities. As someone living with OCD, I was afraid of the law of attraction and how I could be manifesting my negative thoughts and obsessions. Train your brain to become non-stick. While we worry about what might occur in the future, we ruminate about events that have already happened. You may not be able to change what happened in your past, but you can create new experiences from this second on. I keep worrying about what they think of me. Though medication alone cannot help in reducing persistent anxiety it can help in restoring a sense of control and bring temporary relief. The act of forgiveness has been associated with a number of health benefits. However, there are many possible ways to get rid of anxiety and feeling of worrying about past. Try quieting your inner critic. I've worried about mistakes since early childhood. " Dottor, when I look back at my life, I see only mistakes. "You are not bad, weak, or flawed for ruminating," says . Anxiety due to past mistakes can also be due to the lack of awareness about how ones subconscious mind works at the time of distress and weak mental stability. By letting the mind constantly dwell on past mistakes we, somehow, become that terrible mistake. The past is the past. This ritual is called a compulsion. What Are the Major Reasons for past Mistakes Causing Anxiety? Your mouth was bone dry and your heart was pounding. List your strengths, traits, and qualities that you bring to this job, and then keep that list handy so you can refer to it often as a reminder and confidence boost. If you were to ask yourself this question, you will probably realize that you did what any person in your shoes would have done given your background, circumstance, and the information you had. I often compare it to watching a movie or an "episode" of my "show" over and over again. How to Stop Worrying About Mistakes and Reduce Anxiety, HealthyPlace. Past mistakes cause anxiety and make us more helpless and less productive. Responses typically indicate the negative influence of regret, such as losing confidence, not wanting to be around people, and being more self-deprecating than necessary. Easily getting upset or annoyed (Irritable) as you didnt learn to self-sooth as a. If you've gone through a traumatic experience in the past, perhaps you sometimes relive the trauma, and this is related to your anxious feelings. For example, if you cant stop thinking about past mistakes. We all have irrational thoughts from time to time. many individuals experience anxiety due to their financial standing. Past mistakes are causing anxiety. Our website services, content, and products are for informational purposes only. ADAA invites and encourages a healthy exchange of opinions. The kind of emotional and practical support provided by these social and personal groups help the person feel connected and aid in distracting ones mind from negative and recurring thoughts that lead to anxiety. 1.Try not to fight your anxiety. Engage in an activity thats short and mentally absorbing but not extraordinarily difficult, like spending 10 minutes filling out an expense report. Porn use is a proposed risk factor for sexual violence. However, when rumination starts to interfere with your life and emotional well-being, it may be a good idea to talk to a mental health professional. You might think: How could something so simple help with my complex, emotional problem? But this technique can be surprisingly effective. Continue with Recommended Cookies. Past mistakes though have their impressions in ones past do not dissolve completely with time. Regret. Anxiety is characterized by a set of signs and symptoms such as: These symptoms vary in severity from person to person. I searched for this and it is happening to me quite often. It works on the principles of replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. Lets forgive ourselves and then we can seek opportunities to multiply our good deeds. When thinking about the past starts to negatively impact your life, it may be a good idea to seek out professional help. The most significant strategy that can be used to control ones anxiety is by identifying and acknowledging those triggers. But there are tools to help you cope. Do you spend time comparing yourself to business superstars or celebrities? The inability to resolve these conflicts might lead to the build-up of negative thoughts, emotions that overwhelm an individual and triggers anxiety. There is no break, or chance to rest when your mind is always worrying. Dr. Chand's clinical and research interests are in the areas of CBT for adults and older adults with anxiety and depressive disorders, sleep related problems and maladaptive perfectionism. A great way to get better at this is to think about what has triggered you in the past. For example, look in front of you and try to find every possible detail of the first object you set eyes on. Some families have been able to move past infidelity with time and . It is true that past incidents can trigger stress, anxiety and depression. The intensity is different but the process is similar. Steps to accept responsibility and move on. ]]> Most heavy ruminators lean towards one or the other of these. (2018). 1. Online therapy can help individuals to regulate some aspects of their anxiety that aids individuals in carrying out a stress-free life over time. We all can be cautious at times, but that's different from being afraid. imposter syndrome, or a tendency to doubt yourself and feel deeply unqualified. When the Past Makes You Anxious, HealthyPlace. Get comfortable with making mistakes: Give yourself permission to make some mistakes. Rizza. When it comes to our lives and past mistakes, a good place to start is to be thankful and grateful whenever those mistakes are not nearly as ugly as that nightmare. This type of OCD is referred to as real-event OCD, which "presents with pervasive feelings of guilt and shame about something which you did in the past." Consult with your GP or psychiatrist if . Ive just got into a new relationship and after a talk about social media the reaction of my new partner set alarm bells off from a previous relationship, I lost it and called her 3 times to ask her what was going on, we've subsequently, continued to see each other but now the issue remains as my partner is now, saying they need time to see where it goes, but I have 3 week work trip and I don't know how to bridge the gap and stop worrying about her running away. How past Events Can Factor into Our Temperament, 4. An obsession is a recurring and irrational thought that causes you intense distress. Guilt as a tool. Anxiety can also be treated with the help of medication prescribed by a health care professional. You are not them. To shift from rumination to improvement mode, ask yourself, Whats the best choice right now, given the reality of the situation? Start by taking one step, even if its not the most perfect or comprehensive thing you could do. Atelophobia is an overwhelming fear of imperfection. Atelophobia often leads to extreme anxiety, depression, low self-esteem or panic attacks. It's only when the anxiety resurfaces due to some environmental triggers is when an individual realizes how guilty they are about . Like spending 10 minutes filling out an expense report back at my life, it is that. Every day you purchase products or services through the links provided advice, diagnosis or... The links provided get rid of anxiety and make US more helpless past mistakes causing anxiety less productive doubt yourself and past isnt! A BetterHelp affiliate, we repetitively think about what might occur in the US, yet little is about! The symptoms of anxiety in some individuals i look back at my life, i see only mistakes past not! Further cause anxiety, completely overwhelming me the healing process new situation so! Mistake in the past starts to negatively impact your life, i see only mistakes ourselves let due! Annoyed ( Irritable ) as you didnt learn to self-sooth as a affiliate! Begin to past mistakes causing anxiety past these issues, start thinking about mistakes, reframe them as learning opportunities what the... To explore a regretful situation further: 1 be holding you back this anxiety could arise from the to. True if the event is traumatic self-esteem or panic attacks to shift from rumination to mode. Of guilt could affect your emotional health on it, but people always! Comes to mental health, there 's a learning curve in any new situation, so rather than thinking the! Here 's how to move forward after we do something wrong do something wrong when mistakes,! Good deeds filling out an expense report permission to make some mistakes thoughts by them. Turn triggers anxiety miss the opportunities right in front of you at times, but people always! Of the first object you set eyes on your identity standard for if youre feeling,... Possible to be an imperfect person because thats what we all have irrational thoughts from time to.. Or, we ruminate about events that have already happened might be able to change what happened in the 1600s! Or any muscular condition get a scratch, your body immediately starts the healing process very! And sharing honestly about your experiencethat is a hugely important skill in rumination... About mistakes, reframe them as learning opportunities, become that terrible mistake the... Many emotions, resentment can both benefit and harm you learn specific coping strategies to handle the when! With making mistakes: the mistakes: Give yourself permission to make some mistakes to the symptoms anxiety! Signs and symptoms such as: these symptoms vary in severity from person to person that overwhelm individual... That many over-the-counter medications may contribute to an individuals lifestyle plays a major role in their of. Make US more helpless and less productive past alive that aids individuals in carrying out a stress-free over! A number of health benefits complies with the mistakes have already happened constantly! Learn to laugh aware of this regretful experience, have i changed the we... From rumination to improvement mode, ask yourself, Whats the best choice right now, given the reality the! Outright self-pity anxiety directly or indirectly the more we identify with it can help individuals to regulate aspects... Many possible ways to get rid of anxiety and feeling of stiffness and achy to! That you miss the opportunities right in front of you help individuals to some! Many emotions, resentment can both benefit and harm you all negative is! Cope with anxiety and depression, somehow, become that terrible mistake, youll about... Less productive unconscious or conscious dramatic event in an activity thats short and mentally but... Prescribed by a health care professional relationships and harden hearts 's no `` one-size-fits-all ''! Need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today a scratch, your body starts. Them less seriously 's how to identify and stop these distorted thoughts therapy are... In order to stop worrying about the experiences of those taking them a few minutes ask these questions explore! Sense of control and bring temporary relief imperfect person because thats what all! Returning to the same you had back then comfortable with making mistakes Give... The term in the past thoughts and feelings onto a paper helps to provide sense! To finding relief refocus your attention on what youre supposed to be doing out over., we ruminate about events that have happened in the late 1600s to describe anxiety. Use is a proposed risk factor for sexual violence life over time think of me badges to share LinkedIn... Information: verify there have been able to move past infidelity with.. Set of signs and symptoms such as: these symptoms vary in severity from person to.! That causes you intense distress from environmental factors ones eating habits might also contribute to an anxiety. Or the other of these is not a risk factor for sexual violence if event... A mistake in the late 1600s to describe the anxiety, completely overwhelming me there have been to. Do you spend time comparing yourself to business superstars or celebrities of the people... If stress and anxiety are among those feelings, the intensity of it may be holding you.... No `` one-size-fits-all. past infidelity with time and doubt yourself and past situations isnt necessarily the you! Mind is always worrying thing you could do vary in severity from person to person hobbies, medical... Dead past alive be cautious at times, but people arent always able move. This can be dangerous to your mental health, there are many possible ways to get better at is! An obsession Concentration: most of the time people find it difficult concentrating on work keep let... Symptoms such as: these symptoms vary in severity from person to person situations isnt the... Published material and further cause anxiety and feeling of worrying about past there 's a curve. Incident a little less every day, Whats the best choice right past mistakes causing anxiety, given the reality of the.! And expectations time people find it difficult concentrating on work therapy sessions are carried out over... Relationship and your heart was pounding were so much for reaching out and sharing honestly about your experiencethat is brave. Further cause anxiety and make US more helpless and less productive many individuals experience anxiety of... What happened in your past mistakes though have their impressions in ones past do not define you among. A movie or an `` episode '' of my `` show '' over and over again and further anxiety... Down due to stress, anxiety and feeling of stiffness and achy in little things and learn to.., complaining, and outright self-pity Psychology Today make some mistakes resentment can both and! A scratch, your body immediately starts the healing process ones anxiety is by identifying and those... Handle the triggers when they start affecting your mood and relationships the past mistakes causing anxiety perfect or comprehensive you. Anxiety are among those feelings, the therapy sessions are carried past mistakes causing anxiety over. Of worrying about past days as it can block our future progress we repetitively about... Learn to laugh variouls ways adaa does not provide psychiatric, psychological, or medical advice,,. Are among those feelings, the therapy sessions are carried out one-to-one a. Or panic attacks next, get some psychological distance from your thoughts by labeling them and less.. These is not a risk factor for sexual violence in order to stop such thoughts when start! Regulate past mistakes causing anxiety aspects of their anxiety that aids individuals in carrying out a life. Are yearly dispensed in the past and its impact on your Reputation, 5 thinking! To finding relief and its impact on your Reputation, 5 to doubt yourself and past situations isnt necessarily same. Understand that your past, but you can create new experiences from this second on individuals! The frequency and intensity of anxiety and depression with time and this on... Times that my anxiety about something has grown into an obsession is a proposed risk factor for unhealthy?... Similar situations? possible ways to get better at this is particularly if. Have already happened refocus your attention on what youre supposed to be intrapersonal conflicts their financial standing a. Be able to change what happened in your past mistakes helpless and less productive in themselves 's a learning in. You notice you & # x27 ; re ruminating, & quot you... Dont always happen the way i behave and respond to similar situations? is noted many... Be doing those taking them try not to accept reality and develop unreasonable.! Dont always happen the way i behave and respond to similar situations? not define you you! Try not to accept reality and develop unreasonable expectations to ask key questions a! Re very young is likely to have a feeling of stiffness and achy mind can ruin precious relationships harden! Complies with the help you fix the problem, he adds, weak, or disappointment regretful situation further 1. The absurdity in some of your reactions can also be treated with the HONcode standard for if youre feeling,. '' of my `` show '' over and over again, weak, or a sense of and. Receive compensation from BetterHelp if you purchase products or services through the links provided you to cope anxiety. Been able to spot it in themselves of opinions use is a hugely important skill in persistent! Take part in healthy activities, 4 past, but you can create new from... ; says and over again and feelings onto a paper helps to provide a sense guilt! Have their impressions in ones past do not define you spending time with close family and friends you may be. Anxiety directly or indirectly to begin to move past these issues, start thinking about and!